ASLU 004: Overcoming Selp-Doubt As A Creative For Hire
In Episode 4 of the And She Looked Up Creative Hour, we continue our month long theme of “courage’. Previously we covered Masking Fear with Procrastination and Perfectionism and today we’re tackling the often crippling emotion of self-doubt.
Self-doubt seems to transcend all mediums of creativity - whether you’re a blogger creating new and useful content or a watercolour artist creating landscapes on canvas. If you put yourself out there, creatively, self doubt is bound to creep in at some point, regardless of how confident you usually feel.
You probably know the feeling… that whisper in the back of your mind that “you’re really not very good at this” or that sinking feeling that your last idea was truly your last good idea that you will ever have. Or that moment as you scroll through social media and think you’re never going to be as good as “that person”.
Once those feeling hit they can easily send you into a downward spiral till you wind up in a black hole that’s not so easy to get out of.
In this episode we look at some of the biggest triggers for self-doubt (worrying about what others think of us, imposter syndrome and the comparison trap) and some of the ways you can deal with them to move past that REALLY annoying voice in your head that tells you you’re washed up (because you’re absolutely not!)
Listen to the Episode:
Imposter Syndrome
Imposter Syndrome is that feeling that you’re faking it til you make it or that you don’t really know what you’re doing. Maybe you’re just praying nobody asks you any questions. You might also feel you don’t have the proper qualifications to do what you do. You didn’t do a creative writing degree, you didn’t go to school to become a photographer, you’re not a trained artist… does any of this sound familiar?
One of the things that can inadvertently contribute to Imposter Syndrome is that often when we’re really good at something, we don’t necessarily know how to articulate what we do to the rest of the world!
That’s because our “zones of genius” usually come easily or naturally to us and it’s often something we enjoy doing so we practice it without even realizing that’s what we’re doing. You might even think that this thing that comes so easily to you, comes easily to everyone so you don’t realize it’s a special talent. It’s not until somebody says “I wish I could do that the way you do” that it dawns on you that others can’t do whatever it is you’re good at.
But because it comes so easily to you, it can be hard to articulate or explain it to others and this can make you feel like you really don’t know what you’re doing or talking about and you’re really not qualified or a fraud.
And then there are legitimately times in our business where we don’t know what we’re doing and we’re just trying to figure it out as best we can and hope nobody calls us out on it.
The Comparison Trap
The Comparison Trap is so easy to fall into - especially with the advent of social media. You’re one scroll away from thinking your work will never be as good as what you see on Instagram. It can also be your one way ticket straight to Imposter Syndrome.
Your logical side will tell you that social media is highly curated to show you the best of things, the glass completely full, the end product without the messiness that had to happen to get that end product out there.
But as Julia Cameron says, your inner artist is really just a small, unruly child who doesn’t work rationally. All you can think about is how your work will never be as good, you’ll never have as big an audience, it will never come as easily to you as it does to them and you’ll never have ideas as good as all these ones in your feed.
We bet that one feels pretty familiar too…
What Will They Think?
A lot of our self-doubt is wrapped up in worrying about what others will think of us. Will they think we’re dumb or stupid? Will they make fun of us? Talk and laugh about us behind our back? So much of what holds us back is the really rather cruel narrative we make up in our heads of what others will think of us. We use words to describe ourselves that we would never use when talking about others and create scenarios that will never play out all out of the fear of not being liked.
So how do you deal with this giant mess?
Here’s our best tips for managing your creative self doubt:
Acknowledge there’s an issue. Ask yourself what it is you’re feeling? When did it start? What were you doing in the few hours leading up to those feelings rising up? Where you on social media? Were you talking to another creative? Start to pay attention to patterns - write the down if you feel that would help. A little introspection can really help deal with these kinds of issues. If you start to notice that certain activities trigger your feelings it can help you find strategies to deal with them.
Teaching. Reverse your process as if you had to give a class in it to people who have absolutely no idea how to do what you do. Break it down into small bite sized chunks. Soon you’ll start to realize that you actually do know an awful lot and yeah, you do have some skills and you are actually pretty good at this. (and you might come up with some ideas for a workshop or class you can teach and add as a new stream of revenue!)
Find a balance with social media. Social media is a double edged sword. On the one hand it’s an effective tool to show your work and communicate with your customers, fans and community as well as a great source of inspiration. But on the other hand it can seriously cripple your self-esteem and encourage you to create work that’s similar to what’s popular but that’s not necessarily you or interesting or original. Put measures in place to limit your usage:
Mute people who you like but whose content impacts your mental health
Unfollow people who you don’t have a personal connection to if you find their content makes you feel bad.
Search out new content outside of your niche
Follow hashtags instead of people
Limit your time on social media each day both for work and for pleasure
Scroll with intention - don’t just blindly scroll because you’re bored.
Connect in person! Talk to your friends and peers in person away from social media. Even if you can’t meet up one on one in this time of social distancing, you can still chat on the phone, text, video chat, meet up on Zoom or Google Hangouts. Sometimes hearing a voice and seeing a face and body language can completely change the feeling of your interaction and make the higlight real fade into the background.
Accept the fact that you won’t be for everyone. And that’s ok! In fact, that’s how it should be! If you’re going to have a unique style or point of view or voice, there are going to be people who won’t like what you have to say or what you put out there. When you try to please everyone, your work becomes generic and uninteresting and you’ll never stand out.
Create Before You Consume. Take some time each day first thing to create something. Even if it’s a 10 minute sketch in your sketchbook or three sentences in a Word doc. It doesn’t matter. Just get something out before you look at social media or the internet. It will give you a sense of satisfaction that you’ve put something out there. Looking at social media when you’re in the middle of a creative block can make that horrible feeling that you’ll never have another good idea again feel even bigger. But if you’ve already put something out into the world (even if nobody but you sees it) at least you’ll have that feeling that yes, you did do something today - and you’ll do something tomorrow as well.
Sit with your feelings. As humans we don’t like to feel uncomfortable. But sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling - it can help you process what’s happening. Think about where those feelings are coming from and why you’re feeling them and what they’re making your do. Journaling can be really helpful with this. So can talking to a mental health professional who might be able to help you identify patterns and give you tools to deal with the emotions you’re struggling with. Acknowledging a feeling can also help make it less scary!
When you catch yourself heaping abuse on yourself, STOP. Remind yourself that you would never speak to a loved one that way and that you don’t deserve that kind of language or treatment either. Just as you would give others grace, give yourself grace.
Find a support system. It could be a good friend, a mentor, a coach, your family, a mastermind or peer group… there are lots of places you can find support to help you through rough patches and provide a second set of eyes that have some distance from what’s playing in your own head. People who understand your industry can be very helpful in this way.
Find a daily way to be grateful and remind yourself of your motivation. It could be a gratitude journal or a note at the top of your daily planner reminding you why you’re going to do what you do today. Training yourself to see the positive and to have a purpose can go a long way to giving your a healthy perspective on your work.
Other Episodes That Focus on Courage:
Taking Risks As a Creative Entrepreneur